Today I’ve officially been here a week and a day, and it’s hard to think of very many weeks in my life that have been as trying as this one — there are only a few that quickly come to mind.
But while it has been incredibly difficult it has also been so good. Here is what I’m learning:
I’ve learning how to create the space and reality I want to live in through trusting myself, my heart and my intuition.
I’m learning how strong and resilient I am when things get tough. Looking over this week, I stepped into each day confidently and sure of myself, something that could have only come from within.
I’m learning how to ask for help, receive help, appreciate the help, and acknowledge help from everyone around me all the time.
I’m learning how to move slower, to listen, to accept the timing of things and to be patient with allowing things to show up for me in the right time.
I’m learning to honor my mornings each day, with a check-in and a cup of coffee and no distractions.
I’m learning about the personalities of geckos, how silly they are with one another and with me — I’m learning about all sorts of fauna at that, rats, mongooses, cockroaches, mosquitos, fire ants…
I’m learning when it’s ok to push myself further, and when I need to step back, go to bed, let go, read an Agatha Christie book.
I’m learning how to control my thoughts so that I don’t choose the ones that are anxious or scary, but instead choose to believe that what will happen will happen with ease, that I will always be safe, that I am here for my highest good.
I’m learning how to fry an egg every morning, and how to troubleshoot things that are broken, to hitchhike.
I’m learning how to make new friends and appreciate them for the life lessons they’ve lived, hear their truths, encourage them, and to stand in awe of them despite their age.
I realized all this and more as I DROVE home today after finding a rental, having all the money in my bank ready to pay for it, managing the logistics of getting to it, applying (and receiving) for a new neighborhood pass, and sitting there with the full weight of how much I did today and this week washing over me.
Today I also saw the beach in Hawaii for the first time, and today I stepped foot in the ocean, and today as I drove up to the big house the ladies inside clapped for me and yelled “happy Independence Day, Ally!” ** which meant everything to me.
** When I booked my ticket here, landed on the 4th of July. For the time leading up to me going when someone asked “when do you leave?” I’d answer “July 4th, Independence Day!” Who knew I'd still have to wait another week for it, though?